The Vulnerability Shawl
Sometimes things come into your life at the right time. And I’m learning that, if you’re open to that idea, it happens more often. I recognize that this is perhaps just confirmation bias at work, but even so, when a thing works out in one’s favor so nicely, who cares if it’s effectively a placebo?
And so it was that I came across a call for test knitters on Rose of Transmutation Knits’ Instagram feed for a massive shawl of brioche and lace. I wasn’t following their feed (yet,) and merely stumbled upon it via a link in another knitter’s stories. Rose’s description of the project was so heartfelt that I knew instantly I wanted to be a part of it. I do not take test knitting lightly: I am serious about deadlines and providing useful feedback, and I won’t commit unless I feel confident in my ability to be truly helpful. Which means I rarely commit to it.
This time, I just had to.
The shawl is the first in a series Rose is working on, an exploration of values that have shaped their growth as a person: vulnerability, nuance, empathy, and audacity. I am fully behind the sentiment of this project; the idea of taking the time to create by hand an expression of these values and wrapping myself in beautiful stitchwork steeped in them elevates everything I love about this craft to a higher level.
It was a blind pitch, and Rose took the chance on trusting me to help with the project. I think it turned out to be a good fit, as I’m a chart reader, and they’re not, so I had lots on input on how those worked. (At least, I hope that helpful is how I came across!)
A sea of sea of purple brioche and silver lace, unblocked
The project is entirely brioche and lace. If you’ve followed me a while, you know I’m a multitasker when I knit. I typically choose simpler stitch patterns that allow me to read while I stitch (and I devour lots of books this way!) Brioche and lace do NOT lend themselves to multitasking—they require my eyes on my work. Which meant that I had to accept my limitations and give in to what the project required. I did catch up on some cool podcasts along the way, but, when I could get it, I also found simple comfort in sitting in the quiet, making stitches.
The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, as I wasn’t overloaded with other projects at the time, and, even better, it was a time when I needed something just like this for soothing my soul.
Rose shares how the design is inspired by a scene from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, (the THIRD book in the Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis) a favorite book of my childhood. There is a scene when a character has transformed magically into a dragon, and must painfully shed his skin to return to his human self—but although he returns to his original form, it is truer than before, because he has accepted his own vulnerability in the process.
I chose yarn hand dyed by Shobha of Serendipitous Wool. Shobha is a lovely human, whom I’ve had the chance to meet in person. I found her yarns to be a natural fit for the project because she herself promotes the kind of values Rose is exploring in these patterns. Both Rose and Shobha have been consistently impactful voices in the knitting community, sharing themselves and their values (dare I add another value to Rose’s list?) with humility.
Skeins of Vayu in purple “ancestors” and silver “Silken", from Serendipitous Wool
Shobha’s ‘Silken’ is a glowing silver, subtle, delicate, and simply beautiful. She dyed it to evoke silkworms and the Bombyx Moth they become:
“Silken evokes memories of soft, featherweight, floating, and hazy strands of silk that this beautiful moth, in its form as a silkworm, produces.”
A closeup of ‘Silken’ from Serendipitous Wool
‘Ancestors’ was a brand-new colorway that Shobha was developing as I was choosing the yarn for this shawl. She sent me some images and I instantly fell for the depth of this rich purple. Appropriately, it also has deep meaning:
“This colorway is a reminder to me that who, how, and why I am is due to those before me, those with me, and for the future when I become an ancestor, how I want to be remembered. I wanted a color that was filled with purpose and defined itself; ‘Ancestors,’ with its earthy depths of color from a faraway place, is all of that. ”
‘Ancestors’ swirls about in its rich, purple glory
On my mind as I knit were thoughts of transformation, of growth, of becoming oneself. The story behind the shawl, the symbolism of the silkworm becoming a moth, and the concept of growing up from having ancestors to being an ancestor all provided a different aspect of seeing life as transformation, with vulnerability inherent in the process.
Skeins of ‘Silken’ and ‘Ancestors’
Talking about vulnerability is, well, vulnerable, and sometimes best done with close friends over a cup of tea. So, I’m going to leave you with some pictures of this project and some words on vulnerability by much better writers than me. I hope you enjoy.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
—Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
"When you hide the true you, you inevitably end up being like everyone else."
—Billy Anderson, Your Comfort Zone is Killing You
“there is risk involved in putting your true self out in the world, but there’s even more risk in hiding yourself.”
—Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
“We know but a few men, a great many coats and breeches.”
—Henry David Thoreau, Walden
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
—Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
You can find Rose and the Vulnerability Shawl pattern on:
❉ All of their patterns are priced under a “pay what works” system.
You can find Shobha of Serendipitous Wool on: