How Can I Be More Creative? Feel Through Fear.
“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”
You know that moment in Winnie the Pooh where Pooh Bear sits in his “Thotful Spot” and taps his head with his little paw, saying “think, think, think…” Anyone else weirdly identify with that scene? I gotta figure this out so bad!
Not that I don’t love you, my most excellent brain, but sweetie, you’re forever trying to solve things you can’t solve because you’re really afraid of anything that doesn’t promise a predictable outcome. And that’s not actually realistic, so…maybe we need to try something else?
The Mesa Wrap using Hundred Acre Wood inspired yarns…that golden color represents Pooh Bear himself!
Over-thinking is one way I see fear show up in people’s lives (and since I’m a person, that includes me!) Last month, I tackled how guilt can block us from our creativity. A very close cousin to The Guilt is The Fear. (Now, to be honest, the organization of this bugs me a little, because guilt is one of many responses to fear. It’s just a particularly powerful block for so many women I work with, so it deserves its own discussion.)
If we’re looking at what stops us from being our Most Creative Selves, we have to look at Fear. Living the kind of creativity that motivates us to get out of bed every day means moving through fear. Period.
“Sometimes birds return to their cages when the door is open, sometimes people free to make their own choices choose to abandon that power.”
One way I recognize fear coming up is over-thinking to the point that it goes in circles. Other tells I see a lot (though not an exhaustive list):
Lots of ideas about “what creative people are like” that conveniently describe someone else…
Obsession with productivity as a justification for creative activity…
General feeling of being “stuck”…
Avoiding creative work by observing, dabbling, or supporting someone else’s creativity (often the kids’)…
Not being able to articulate desires…
Quite dramatically being really freaking busy all the time…
Perfectionism…
“Fear is the true name for what ails the blocked artist.”
It usually comes down to a couple things, at the root of the fear: uncertainty and vulnerability. (Um, I like to keep it light around here?)
Growing up, we all develop our own relationship with authority, whether there was too much of it or not enough, who had it and who didn’t, etc. But as kids, most of us didn’t have complete authority over our own lives because (reasonably) we weren’t mature enough to, and…we kinda got used to that. But getting older happened and we had to develop at least some authority over own own lives [insert adjustments for your personal experience here,] and we’ve probably all been in a position where it would be really, really nice if someone else would just tell us what to do because that feels so much safer.
And if growing up wasn’t scary enough, it’s also really vulnerable to be a human with a desire to create. (Which is all of us.) When we are being creative, we’re sharing a part of our insides on the outside. And frequently, the things we want to share most are things we learned to label as frivolous or selfish.
You know what many people have a harder time doing than speaking their fears?
Claiming their dreams.
Terrifying.
It’s scary to share our dreams because it’s putting something “out there” where we’re no longer in control of what happens to this thing that’s part of our heart. It’s uncertain. Add to that the truth that the creative process is messy and non-linear, which the Ego-Brain hates, so it tries to sabotage our creative efforts by “think, think, thinking” about whether we should really be doing this in the first place.
It’s the age-old tension between the legitimate need as a human to be safe and the equally legitimate human need to grow and create. Damn, no wonder we get stuck!
“You know rationally that [creating] shouldn’t be put off because of your silly fear, but because it is a silly fear, you don’t air it and the block stays intact.”
Silly Old Bear.
A few things that we’ve probably all tried to “deal with” fear: give in to it through some form of sabotage, avoid it by calling it ridiculous and intellectualizing over it, or attacking ourselves with criticism. In every one of these situations, we treat fear like a problem, as if there’s something wrong with us that we feel fear at all.
“Brave doesn’t mean you’re not scared, Starr,” she says. “It means you go on even though you’re scared.”
I’ve learned that fear simply isn’t a problem. It’s a normal reaction when we vulnerably put our hearts in the path of uncertainty.
We’re only ever afraid when something matters to us.
To paraphrase a little Brené Brown, the world isn’t divided into brave people and afraid people. It would be more accurate to say there are people who do things that matter by going through their fears, and people who avoid doing things so as to avoid their fears.
So, if you want to live without fear, make sure you don’t care about anything. Then you won’t feel afraid. If that sounds like a bad idea, then consider learning to treat your fear as a healthy part of you that shows up when something matters to you, instead of assuming its presence means there’s something wrong with you.
Easier said than done, I know. And probably impossible to completely master once and for all. But there’s absolutely ways move through fear, rather than fight it.
Start with kindness—A simple, honest statement of, “being creative is scary” with your hand over your heart can go a long way toward feeling supported. I also like trying a simple semantic adjustment: instead of “I’m afraid,” try saying, “I’m feeling fear,” and see what that changes for you. (Kristin Neff has many more ways to exercise self-compassion in the aptly named book, Self-Compassion.)
Paying attention—being completely present in this moment, using mindfulness to drop into our senses, focusing on our breath and bodily sensations, signals to the brain that we’re okay in this moment. The truth is, most of the time when we’re afraid because the future is uncertain, the moment we’re actually in, right now, is fine. “By dropping resistance to whatever is happening right now, we are always able to cope. Even when we’re not coping, allowing ourselves to not-cope gets us through this moment, over and over and over.” —Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity
Nurture trust with yourself—a few small things can help build your faith in your own resilience: treating yourself to things you enjoy (and trying to not judge yourself,) expressing your feelings and needs (including your fear,) and asking for help.
Shift into Love—Gabby Bernstein describes the “Holy Instant:” that moment when we feel fear and we decide to turn toward Love, using whatever practice works for us. This can be a prayer, a moment of gratitude, sharing a hug with a loved one, doing a random act of kindness. I have a few quotes from Mr. Rogers saved that help remind me. Woo-woo spiritual or not, a practice that turns you toward Love is actually pretty practical. What Would Love Do?
“As you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE.”
This is what it means to be Courageously Creative. Being courageous necessarily means being afraid in the first place, and deciding to move through the fear. And creativity brings up fear by forcing us to engage with uncertainty and vulnerability. I’m not really sure how we can be deeply creative without practicing a little courage, too.
“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.”
Working with, rather than against, ourselves—including our fears—on the way to a more courageous expression of creativity is what lights me up and gets me out of bed. If you sense that shifting your perceptions of your fears might help move you toward a freer creative expression, consider scheduling an exploration call to look into how you can move forward.
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And Stay Magnificent, Always.